I've been wrestling with this concept of change for a while now. I've been waiting for the changes to slow down a bit before I blogged about them...waiting to wrap my mind around them. But I think I may be waiting for a long time, as I don't see the changes stopping anytime soon.
As I sat down to write about the changes in my life, I thought it was fitting to change the look of this blog. Hope you like it. Not all change is bad, you know :)
It's the beginning of my summer holidays. I'm attempting to wrap my head around the fact that it's been nearly 4 years since my Mom's been gone. 4 years. It doesn't really make sense to me. In many ways, it seems like just yesterday that she was here. It seems like just yesterday that we said goodbye. In other ways, it seems like an eternity since I've seen her last. Either way, there are still many fresh tears.
One of the main changes I've been experiencing has been the process of seeing my Dad move on. This process has been downright painful at times. No, make that excruciating. But he's engaged now to a very nice woman. There are reasons why it's difficult for me to be happy for him at times, but overall, God is speaking to me about forgiveness. I'm honestly trying with every fibre of my being to let go of past hurts and to move on with love. It's not only for his sake and the sake of my family, but most of all for me. I can't live with a "woe is me" mentality all the time. God gave up way too much for me. Because He is victorious, I am also victorious.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" ~John 16:33
My brother is also in a very serious dating relationship. In the next year, our entire family structure is bound to change greatly. I'm choosing to embrace these changes, knowing that even though they mark the end of something, they also mark a new beginning for all of us. I've never really had my own life and I'm looking forward to that prospect. I know that Mom would be very happy for me, as well.
I'm looking forward to some other changes in my life right now, as well. After 10 years as a classroom teacher, I have packed up my classroom and moved into an office. I have the opportunity to be a resource teacher. I have many mixed feelings about this, as I loved having my own class and the opportunity to form amazing relationships with kids. But, I know that God can use me in many different settings. I look forward to new challenges and to seeing just how He will put me to use for His purpose.
I find myself, at times, wishing that the next year would go by very quickly so that we could all just get on with things and not drag out this sometimes painful process of change. But, I know that God's timing is perfect. I really don't understand it at times (okay, I don't understand it often), but He has proven His faithfulness to me over and over. I don't for a second doubt it now.
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