Five

It was a Wednesday just like today. I woke up on the couch, my Mom on the other couch. She slept there because she wasn't feeling well. I slept there to stay close in case she needed something. She was having a lot of trouble breathing so we called the ambulance. We thought it was just another crisis like the million we'd already been through. By 7:30 a.m. when we arrived at the hospital behind the ambulance, she was already gone. No goodbyes. It's so vivid and raw this morning. I can't seem to fathom that it's been five years already; five years since my life changed forever.

It has been constant change ever since. Not all bad change, of course. In fact, some really wonderful change has happened this past year. But change is still uncomfortable and downright difficult at times.

I will give you a full update on the year soon, including where I'm at, but I don't have enough time right now. I'm hoping the tears will stop long enough for me to put on some make-up and then I'm on my way out of the house. I'm going to spend the day with the people I love and who loved my Mom. I'm sure there will be more tears, but there will also be joy and wonderful memories. God is good.

If you're stopping by here today to see where I'm at, I just ask that you pray. Please pray for joy and peace on this day.

Thanks, friends.

The Mess

I'm baking tonight. I find myself struck by the thought that whenever I want to do something creative, something that will have a beautiful end such as crafting or baking, I need to make a mess. I become super frustrated about the mess  in the process. It seems so unnecessary. And yet there is no product without the mess.

I feel like the same is true of my life. Sometimes things are a real mess. But God is so faithful to create something beautiful out of it all. Sometimes we need to step back from our situation and try to see how God is putting the pieces together and refining us into something much better than if we had never been through the mess in the first place.

And just because one mess may be cleaned up doesn't mean that there won't be more mess to come. We are all a work in progress. I'm so thankful that God isn't done with us. It gives me hope for myself, and for others who are still working their way through their own messes, that beautiful things are yet to come.

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6