Yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon out for coffee with my Mama, and my Mom's two best friends. One of the strange things that happen to you when you lose someone so close to you, is that you lose your connection to other people, like you Mom's friends, who were also very important in your own life. Thankfully, these are two of the truest friends anyone could ever hope for, and they have not just walked out of my life like they could have. We still get together at least twice a year so far.
Another interesting, but very sad, thing is that both of these women have also experienced their own profound losses within the past year. As if we didn't have enough in common from loving my Mom, we now have grief in common.
So, we sat there and cried and just enjoyed each other's company. I could so imagine my Mom in that circle with us. She loved, loved, loved going out for coffee or supper with her friends. I don't love restaurants the way Mom does, but these two friends were so amazing and frequently took her out. Whether they realize it or not, it was such a ministry of love to her.
I really enjoyed sitting and having the opportunity to reflect on Mom in the presence of others who truly understood her, and looked past the medical paraphernalia. They saw the person she was--so full of life and love. Mom, to the very end, was so very concerned about her friends. We were all anticipating their losses, without realizing that Mom would leave us soonest. Mom always gave so much love and support to her friends in their own situations, even though she was facing her own immense challenges.
One of the things that strikes all of us about Mom is how she enjoyed and appreciated the little things in life. I mean really, I have never met anyone in my whole life who was so easy to please. About a week ago, I asked Mama if she was always like this and she said yes. Mom was always so appreciative of a good meal and the smallest little gifts anyone would ever give to her. I think that some of that was heightened, though, as she became ill over the years. So many big things were taken from her, one by one, that I believe she gained a profound appreciation for the little things.
She loved Christmas lights, going for a drive and sightseeing, fireflies, the song of birds--especially the mourning dove, blooming flowers, magazines, doing crafts, sticky notes, fancy Kleenex, pens, the little Pepsi cans, anything miniature and cute, jewellery, anything shiny or sparkly, clothes, shoes, purses, recipes (or as she called them after her stroke--repicees), Tim Hortons, stuffed animals, angels, music boxes, desserts, music, her kids, her family, her friends, good food--the list could go on and on. Even the last meal I made for her, she oohed and aahed over, even though it was nothing spectacular. It was just so much fun to do things for her, and to give things to her.
And you know, it wasn't about materialism at all. There's a fabulous quote by Van Gogh, "The way to know life is to love many things." She really knew how to live. Life isn't about sitting around and waiting for the big things, because while the big things may be really great, they constitute such a small percentage of our actual lifetime. There's so many other days where nothing big will ever happen. We are given such few days here and now. We really need to stop and appreciate those little things, because we have been given SO much, all from the hand of God. And it is much more than we deserve.
I wish I was better at appreciating the little things. I tend to get wrapped up in the stress of everyday pressures. But Mom taught me so many important lessons about the little things. And I do not regret a single thing that I gave to my Mom--whether it was a tangible object, or the gift of my time. They are all precious memories that I cherish.
It's my daily resolve to try to live more like my Mom, appreciating one moment at a time, and each little thing that we take for granted. I know I'm not the only one who needs to work on this. I encourage you to take some time this weekend to step away from something you think you need to do, and to do something that really matters, like investing time in the life of someone you love. Life can change in an instant. You really won't regret the little things.
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